I just read this and I found it entirely hilarious!
Singapore Society Non-seditiously Explained Using Cows
Posted on 2005.12.18 at 21:30 by MollyMeek
Inspired by Shion’s link to Politics Explained, Molly attempts to explain Singapore society using cows:
1) You have two cows. You know you must be thankful to the gahmen for the fact that you have two cows. God knows how many people in third world countries don’t even have milk.
2) You have two cows. Your beloved leaders have 100 cows [each] and owe farms.
3) You have two cows. You want to sell milk, but you realize that your farm-owning leaders can offer more competitive prices than you.
4) You have two cows. If you don’t donate some milk to charities, people will say that you are selfish.
5) You have two cows. You make them do dangerous stunts for charity shows.
6) You have two cows. You have to pay for a license for owning cows so that you will be responsible in your cow-rearing business.
7) You have two cows. Your neighbor has three. You work extra hard so as not to lose out to your neighbor.
8) You have two cows. Dr. Chee says people need at least four to survive, so we need a minimum cow law.
9) You have two cows. The gahmen says these are assets you can sell when you need money. But you think: “Sell already, live on what?”
10) You have two cows. You need to sit for an exam in milking, so you refer to the ten-year-series for the best way to milk them.
11) You have two cows. It never come across your mind to rear other animals—until the gahmen says so.
12) You have two cows. One day, you sell them to a Western country because you found out they are lesbian and contradicted your conservative values.
13) You have two cows. If everyone in Singapore has two cows, we will have more cows than NZ.
14) You have two cows. You better pray hard that there is no cow disease spreading around. Otherwise, the gahmen will cow your cows and only pay you for two cows without considering the amount of milk they can make before they die.
15) You have two cows. Like your cows, you are looking for greener pastures.
16) You have two cows. Too bad they are not amongst the five ‘C’s. You are just a peasant.
17) You have two cows. Sometimes you’d rather be one of them.